Sunday, August 25, 2024

A very common concern of parents and grandparents is children and grandchildren who no longer practice their faith, even though they received all their sacraments, attended faith formation, and were brought to Church weekly.   It is heartbreaking to those who have a firm belief in Jesus and strong ties to the Church.  What to do?
 
I believe the worst thing is to badger them or shame them. Once parents have done their best to raise their children, they have to let adults live their own lives.  It is not the parents’ responsibility anymore.  In fact, badgering and shaming could have the opposite effect, causing the children to dig in and refuse to go to church.
 
When parents come to me for advice, I say something like the following: first, remember God is in control.  God loves your children and is watching over them.  Trust that God will do his best for them.  Second, we can learn from Joshua in our first reading today.  The Israelites had entered the promised land, Joshua was about to die, and he was concerned that they would not be faithful to God, worshipping local gods instead.  He used two tools to challenge them: freedom and example.  Freedom: he left them free to choose what they would do.  He did not pressure them or demand anything.  Example: he clearly stated, “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
 
Recognize that God is in control and leave people free to make their own choices, while giving good example.  Let your children see what living the faith means in your life: not just going to Mass but the joy and peace that it brings as you love, forgive, help those in need, etc.  Let them see it is a way of life, not just rituals.  Maybe once in a while, for example at Christmas, invite them to accompany you to Mass as part of a family time together.  Maybe invite them to be involved with you in a service project.  And always pray for them, putting them in God’s hands and trusting.  That is also giving good example.
 
Always remember: God is in control.  God bless.
 
Church sign: The best you can do for this world (and your children/grandchild) is to live Gospel values!